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A little less you, a little more me. [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
redmeowmeow

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I'm a Jew, you're a Jew..... [Aug. 24th, 2006|10:04 pm]
redmeowmeow
[mood |restlessrestless]
[music |Simon & Garfunkel--- Benedictus]

A few months ago I was feeling pretty low and totally unimpressed with the dating options that were available to me, so I posted an ad on craigslist. Last week I had received an email from someone who had responded to my ad two months ago. I had thought nothing of the fact that they had not written back once I sent my myspace info to them--- figured they thought I was ugly, and that was the end of it for me. And, I was not really interested in dealing with this person at that point.....should have listened to myself! So the long story short is that I met this person tonight. What possessed me to even bother going, I am not sure. My favorite part of the evening was when this person decided to tell me that they do not like Jewish women.....ummmm I am a card carrying Jew, and quite proud of who I am. The fucker. Even once I mentioned that I was Jewish, this asshole still went on about how they cannot date Jews. The best part of this is that this person is a Jew. Gotta love antisemitic Jews.
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There's nothing like waking up and thinking that the apocalypse has finally arrived. [Aug. 21st, 2006|10:40 pm]
redmeowmeow
[mood |sleepysleepy]

After years of sleeping with earplugs, (thanks to ex-partners that snore and obnoxious pets) I finally had a real reason to need them. About an hour ago, there was a rather loud boom of noise that woke me up. I looked outside and all I saw was orange light. I honestly thought that it was the end. Once I looked out the window clearly, I then saw that a car across the street was on fire. I called 911, but then looked to the side of the car, and the fire dept. was already here. That confused me. There were no sirens. It seemed as if they had been here before the car went up. Being a conspiracy believer, I feel like there's something more going on here. I am happy however, that when I called 911, they answered after a couple of rings. Not bad for the ghetto I live in. Of course, it was also almost 4AM, on a Monday morning. It seemed like it took awhile for the fire to go out. Thankfully none of the low hanging trees went up--that would have been nasty. I feel bad for whoever parked their car there---that spot is dangerous. Just a few weeks ago another car was plowed into by a hit and run driver. Never a dull week here on Benton Way! I am really thinking though that there is something "wrong" w/that section of the street. In the last two weeks, there were two dead animals left as well. I am getting so close to packing my bags. I know that there's drama everywhere, but I sometimes feel like we get just a bit more of it here.

I need sleep.
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Closed for business, repairs needed. [Aug. 20th, 2006|10:38 pm]
redmeowmeow
[mood |annoyedannoyed]

I feel like I have been living in a fog for a few weeks. Today, I woke up.

I spent most of my day at Serafemme. It was pretty cool, there was some amazing talent there. I finally got to see someone who I have known (and had a bit of a crush on) since I was a teenager perform--which was really awesome. I love seeing people that I have one idea of, completely shatter that image with their adult self. Like watching JT make his films, there's something about that, that excites me.

A weird thing happened while I was there though. Years ago, I worked at this horrible restaurant as a server. There was a bartender there for a little of the time that I worked there, that looked a lot like the woman I was seeing at the time. It used to freak me out seeing this person. Especially once the woman and I broke up. I had a minor attraction to this person, but could not figure out if she was a lesbian. Today, that question was answered--she was one of the people working the event. I love how small my world is sometimes. I need to move.

So, I have decided to stop dating. It is getting me nowhere, except hurt. I finally had found someone that I honestly liked. It has been so long since I have really liked anyone---yes, I have dated people that I have found interesting, or was attracted to, but this was different. Makes me wonder though, that perhaps the reason I liked her so much was because on some level I knew she was not available. And, if that's the case, then I need to stop dating, because clearly I am not ready myself. Yet, a part of me feels like I was. I am confused and hurt. I am also really sad, because I am not sure about what the hell I should do next.

I feel like I need to just focus on school and my work. But, I know me, and I get bored. I like having people that I can go out with. I like being attracted to someone, and knowing that, that person is attracted to me. I need to find balance. And, someone who is really capable of giving me what I want, and that has yet to happen with anyone.
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